Guest post today from my friend, Aurelia Williams. Thanks Aurelia!!

How to Ground the Helicopter Mom

Do you know what a helicopter mom is? I bet you’ve meet one or two. They are the moms that hover over their child all of the time and swoop in to fight their battles before the child even has a chance to open his or her mouth. You’ve seen her… she is the one that is up in the coaches face when he sits her child on the bench or the one that rushes to the school ready to attack because she has the slightest whiff that something unfair may be happening to her child.

Well, to all helicopter moms out there that rush in to fight all of their child’s battles, I say to you the following: “Moms, stop fighting your kid’s battles — It’s going to turn them into whiny, weak adults!!”

As a mom, it’s perfectly natural to want to advocate for and protect your child, after all that is your job, right? But how far is too far? I have 3 children and I myself have been to the school on occasions to be sure that things are straightened out and on the right course but knowing when to step up and when to step back is quite like balancing on a tight rope. It takes practice, skill and lots of trust.

When the helicopter mom swoops in, she honestly thinks that she is helping but most of the time her actions are detrimental to the child and also embarrassing. Each time you completely fight a battle for your child or totally remove them from sticky situations, is a time that they are missing out on learning a valuable life lesson. Of course there are some battles that children just shouldn’t and absolutely can’t fight alone. It is a mom’s job to determine when those times arise.

I will be the 1st mom to admit that it’s very tough to watch your child stumble and fall through life. Keep in mind that it is much harder to see an adult who acts like a child who just can’t adjust to the many challenges that life throws at them because they were always coddled.

Here are a few steps you can take to raise strong children:

Set a good example – Children will copy you when you do good or bad. If you want your child to be strong and assertive, be sure that you stand up for your beliefs and views as well. Let your child see your confidence shine and they soon will begin to emulate that behaviour.

Don’t Sugar Coat –Always be honest with your child about the complex issues they may face. Be sure to break things down to your child’s level so that they understand the hard issues. Talk openly to your child about the possible battles they may face. When it comes to the issue of peer pressure, help them to come up with ways to combat it. Use real life examples and role play in order to get the point across.

Positive Words and Praise – Be sure to let your child know that you value people who respectfully speak their mind. Praise your child when you see them exhibiting strong, respectful behaviour. Using words of praise works well help to boost your child’s confidence level.

This issue of supplying our children with the tools that they need to be assertive and confident is important. The end result is that if you don’t learn when and how to step back, your child will not be prepared for the bigger issues that he or she will face as they grow up.
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Thanks Aurelia! I couldn’t agree more. It’s part of the hard part of being a mom – nurturing our children to independence, and equipping them to be functioning capable members of society as adults.

Aurelia, who is a life coach and owner of Parenting My Teen, has organized a totally free coaching class where she will share strategies with you that will help you know when and how to step into or step back from the battles your kids face. It REALLY is totally free and is chock full of useful information that you can use immediately! Sign up and perhaps there will be just one less whining adult in the world because of it.

Free Coaching Class with Aurelia Williams

Other resources from Aurelia

image credit: Programs for Education