Growing Women Leaders – Session 2: Listen between the lines “Elements & Levels of Listening”


My “homework” for the Growing Women Leaders Seminars I am attending.

© Ann Griffiths, 2007

Bring It Home #1

1. As you listen to your family, friends, and the people you work with be mindful of what level you are using and journal what you learn from the experiences.
2. Find a scriptural example for each of the three levels of listening. What do you draw from these examples that will help in your understanding of listening?

(all phrases in “quotes” below are directly from Ann’s handouts for Session 2)


These seminars are all about practical coaching tools for us to use in personal & ministry applications. Listening is something that can seem simple, and we can take it for granted, but it is SO important in every one of our relationships.

There are 2 basic elements of listening, and 3 levels of listening.

Elements of listening are: Awareness and Impact


Awareness is the aspect “that gathers information through all our senses including intuition”.

Impact addresses what we DO with our listening. “The impact of our words or actions is a real part of listening.” This deals with how we react (or do not react) to what is being said to us.

Levels of listening are: 1, 2 and 3…

Level 1: “focus is on ME.” I’m listening but I’m only hearing as much as effects me, or I’m thinking only about how what is being said will effect me. I’m paying more attention to my own opinions, conclusions, past experiences, etc. Level 1 is often called ‘internal listening’. It can have a very negative impact on the speaker.

Level 2: focus is VERY MUCH on WHOEVER IS TALKING. I’m listening actively. I’m aware of them completely as well as the impact I’m having on them. Key ideas here: curiousity, not trying to solve their problem, not giving advice, just digging deeper with good questions. The person feels heard and valued – usually a positive impact.

Level 3: “more of a 360^o focus.” I’m aware of myself, the person I’m listening to, the surroundings, as well as my intuition. I’m curious and wanting to dig deeper, am aware of how I impact the speaker, and am listening for what God might want me to say. The speaker feels something deeper as you, the listener, connect/incorporate all that’s going on around you to the conversation. Accessing your God-given intuition can have a very positive impact.

Exercises:






Exercise #1 – It has been very humbling as I listen to my family and friends. Especially my kiddos!
I hear almost every thing as a Mom, but I also am really good at NOT hearing basic chatter, and that isn’t always a good thing. I think sometimes I have a need to tune things out, because there can be so much chatter and noise. So what I have noticed most is the IMPACT on the kiddo that my half-listening has at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I DO listen to my children, and have learned a LOT about the value of stopping in the middle of a task I really want to get done to listen (really listen) to the child for even a short time. SO, in light of that, knowing how the children react to undivided attention, I have been made keenly aware of the impact of my divided attention when dealing with them.

As for other relationships, I have been really enjoying the Level 2 and Level 3 listening I’ve been practicing with them. I can see that I already did quite a bit of that, but more like a counsellor sometimes, wanting to have some input into the process, giving advice or passing on some kind of wisdom. So I was kind of doing a Level 1.5 listening style sometimes – focusing on the other person, but also searching my heart, my mind, all the hidden databanks of my life during the process, looking for the right thing to say.
With Level 2 and Level 3 listening, I feel totally released from having to have the answers. I can be CURIOUS – in fact I’m pretty good at that. I can ask a question for the sake of hearing the answer only, and not because I am trying to lead the person somewhere in their own thinking. Level 2 and 3 listening lets me go where the speaker thinks is important, not where my agenda would take us.

Right now I’m having a hard time distinguishing between Level 2 and Level 3, because once I get to the point of taking the focus off of myself, it feels like I automatically go to Level 3. Especially in dealing with close friends – because I DO want to hear what God might have to say to them through the process. And, as I’ve said before, I really want people, women in particular, to become more and more of who God has made them to be. Level 2 and 3 listening relies more on the prompting of the Spirit so it is more about where God wants the speaker to go, rather than me relying on my own intelligence, wit, or ‘wisdom’ to go where I think would be good for them to go.

Exercise #2 – Wow, going through Scripture focusing on how people listen to each other has been quite eye-opening. Right now I have come up with these examples, though I can think of another one or two. I’m open to other suggestions…

Example of Level 1 listening: Joseph tells his brothers about his dreams, in full detail. The brothers respond defensively – they were listening with the focus on themselves.

What does Joseph’s dream mean for us? OH, we don’t like that…How can he think he’s better than us?


There was no curiousity about what the bigger picture might be, no concern for how Joseph might feel about this or what God wanted them to learn through it all.

In this case, Level 1 listening made the brothers very angry with Joseph. That reminds me that when I’m listening at Level 1, I can totally and obviously get the wrong picture, and react in a completely inappropriate manner – because I didn’t REALLY hear what was being said.

Example of Level 2 Listening: The one that came to mind today was Boaz asking Ruth all the questions about who she was and what she was doing. There didn’t seem to be a ton of depth to his digging, probing, in terms of listening for all the areas of focus. Neither did there seem to be, at this point in the ‘relationship’, any ulterior motives for Boaz’s questioning. He was focused on Ruth and what she had to say, without concern of how it would impact him, how it might look, or some other indication of focus on Boaz himself.

This example reminds me how blessed an individual can feel when we truly focus on them and what they have to say. In actuality, it’s just a common courtesy, but one that isn’t always offered in our culture these days. The impact of Level 2 listening can obviously be powerfully positive.

Example of Level 3 Listening: I go back to Joseph for this one, too. When people told their dreams to Joseph, he was listening with more than his ears. Obviously, the Lord gave him the message, but Joseph would not have been able to receive that message if he had been listening at Level 1 or Level 2.

Level 1 –This sounds totally off the wall. This guy isn’t going to believe me if I say the Lord told me what it means. What if I’m wrong? Afterall, my dreams only made people mad at me… Level 2 – Ok, so tell me more about this dream. So, you’re saying this dream concerns you. Why is that? It sounds like it’s more than just an ordinary dream to you…


Joseph listened to the detail, focusing on the individual, and trusted his intuition. He blurted out the interpretation, with no thought of consequence for himself even though it all may have sounded crazy. And the Glory of the Lord shone through in the midst of it all.

Obviously, this example of Level 3 listening resulted in far-reaching impact. Level 2 listening would have made a positive difference for the speaker, but the result of Level 3 listening went beyond what Joseph could have ever imagined. I think Level 3 listening is meant to be that way. Then the impact on the listener can also be very powerful. It’s all encompassing.

To Sum It Up: Who knew listening could be so much more than just hearing?

For me, there may be a time and a place for Level 1 listening – obviously when I’m being given directions or something is specifically being directed at me. But I think that Level 1 listening is something I will be trying to eliminate. I want to see people grow toward God’s perfect picture for them, but I can’t always be responsible for how they get there. Level 1 listening puts me in a place where I see myself as more important than the other person and I have to be in charge (or at least try to exert as much of my influence as I perceive I can get away with). That’s NOT where I want to be in any of my relationships, family, friends, acquaintances, strangers…Jesus never exhibited Level 1 listening, as far as I can tell, and I want to be more like Him.

As I already mentioned, Level 2 listening kind of tends to blend in with Level 3 listening for me right now. It’s a lot more fun than Level 1 listening – it’s NOT about me and I don’t have to try to make it be about me; I’m not responsible for the direction of the conversation; I hear much more information and therefore learn a whole lot more about what’s really going on, instead of trying to be smart enough to figure it out along the way with less information; I feel like God is very much a part of my dialogues and He can’t be beat in the art of conversation.