Life with tweens and a newly minted teenager is never dull. I really need to do a better job of capturing those “What the heck did you just say?” moments a bit better. This is one attempt at that. In order to try to keep from identifying which one of the kiddos said the most weird (and embarrassing) things, I’ll refrain from using their names. LOL! But the kiddos exact or paraphrased words will be in BOLD LETTERING with my comments or other commentary in between.
Mom, my poop is green – do you know why that happened? – Well, probably because of the freezees you’ve been eating or the slurpee you drank. They have tons of food coloring in them… Blue and Yellow and even green….. That stuff goes right through you.
I sure am glad I can resist temptation, because if I couldn’t I would have smacked you a long time ago. – I think you’ve already hit him a time or two, just today. – Yah, I hit him, maybe, but I didn’t smack him. – What’s the difference? – Now that you mention it, I’m not sure.
Well, this game IS a killing game, and when you shoot people they bleed, but nobody explodes and there’s no blood splatter. Can I still play it? – Um, no.
said by my daughter, in a husky voice, with a strange accent and her hair draped across her top lip: I moustache you a question, but I will shave it for later.
When I was a baby, didn’t you like me the most? – No, I didn’t. I liked you all the same. – Are you really sure about that? – Yes, really.
In response to just about any question: MEEP!
We should give the fish a proper burial. – Um, if you bury it in the backyard, the neighborhood cats will just dig it up and eat it. – But it doesn’t seem right just to flush it. – Yes, flushing is probably your best option. It lived its whole life in water, I’m sure it won’t mind being dead in the water, too. – heard from the bathroom a few minutes later: “Da dum da dum, da dum da dum…” – Why are you singing the wedding march at the fish’s funeral? – It was the only song I could think of at the moment.
If I fly my kite in this wind, do you suppose it would carry me across the coulee? (we have crazy wind here in Lethbridge, and I think this was a very serious concern for the kiddo – afraid they would be whisked away like Winnie the Pooh or something…..If it had been a different kiddo, I would have thought it was more of a “Oh boy, I’d like to try that” kind of thing!)
I know there are some other good ones that they have said to me recently. I REALLY need to record them better. These are priceless jewels! I like how these weird things tell me what the kiddos are really thinking about, and that they trust me with any question. They are just as OK with being weird as I am, and we’re all comfortable together that way. THAT is a true treasure!
Stay tuned for more “Weird stuff my kiddos say” posts. And share your most recent funnies here, too!!
