I really hate being a bad friend. But I know in the last season of my life that I’ve been a pretty bad friend.

What does being a bad friend look like in your world? When do you feel like you’ve been a bad friend?

For me, being a bad friend is not being able to keep connected, forgetting to call someone back, not reaching out to touch base more often. It’s not making time for them, even those who you might call your best friends.

I struggle to know, in my head, if I’m making excuses or protecting boundaries for myself right now.

I see the quotes with photos that say things like, “If it’s really important to you, you’ll make time.”  How is it then, that I find it hard to make time, even for the people who are truly important to me?

Depression makes me feel like a bad friend. Depression squeezes my time and my internal space.

What do you do when there just isn’t any time left? What do you do when there isn’t any mental or emotional space left? How can you be a good friend and still be good to yourself during the “squishiest” times when there isn’t much of you to share?

Being good to myself and taking care of me should involve setting and protecting boundaries, as well as time spent with friends.

In the beginning of my recovery period, I set my boundaries REALLY tight. As I go along, I find it difficult to maintain a good balance sometimes. And when my new business is providing me with lots of work (work that is much needed to pay the bills), and quite a bit of contact with people, sometimes that mental and emotional space is used up before I even realize it.

I can be a good friend, but I don’t think very many people in my life can see that right now. I’ve been a bad friend – inattentive, distant, busy.

I’ve been a really bad friend to myself for a long time, too. I am feeling like I’m being a little nicer to myself recently, and maybe that needs to happen first. “Love your neighbours as yourself.”

If I’ve been a bad friend to you, please don’t take it personally. It probably has little to nothing to do with you directly.  I’m a work in progress, and I AM working through things.  I can be an awesome friend, and I can be pretty fun to have around! All in good time, all in good time!

Have you been a bad friend? What do you do when someone you care about is being a bad friend?