This realization has slowly been coming over me. I didn’t notice it at first, or perhaps I did notice it, but it didn’t bother me. However, in the last few weeks I’ve REALLY noticed it, and sometimes it’s driving me NUTS!

What has just recently come to my attention is this: My kiddos ONLY chatter at ME.

I first noticed that if I am in a room, and something is being said by my kiddos, it is almost always directed at me. Doesn’t matter WHAT it is, they tell me about it. Their thoughts, their homework, their boogers, their friends… the story they are reading, the game they are playing, the lunch they are making…Even nonsensical silly sounds that they’ve decided to spout (Meep! or some strange variation of a song without words, or animal sounds….). They all talk to me, sometimes all at once, and usually about whatever is on their mind at the moment. This is what I call chattering.

Other people might even be in the room, but nearly every sentence starts with, “Mom…”  It happens in the car, too. It even happens if I’m the ONLY one in the room. There’s NOBODY else to talk to, and the sentence is STILL prefaced with, “Mom…”

not me, yet looking confused like me!

It amazes and astounds me, confuses and confounds me… I’m not sure what to make of it!

That was ONE thing I noticed. The next thing took me longer to catch on to.

I realized that I might be immersed in my own thing, say, work for instance, and everyone still talks to me. I might be on the phone, I might have music playing, I might have even asked for nobody to talk to me. If they (one, two or all three of my kiddos) are in the same room with me, they can not help but talk to me. They simply can NOT stop themselves. They are talking to me before either of us (me OR them) even realize it’s going on.

And I wonder why work takes me 3x as long to get work done as I think it should!

I hear the chatter most of the time, and even comprehend what they are saying most of the time. This is true mummy multi-tasking, I guess.

What’s more is that the chatter often doesn’t require a response from me – they just blast their comments at me, not necessarily making conversation, but just talking, sharing their thoughts and revelations, chattering. AT me. (Don’t get me wrong, we DO talk lots, and we also have good conversations. But MOST of the time, it’s really just chattering at me!)

I’ve tried kicking them out of the room that I’m working in. That works, as long as they stay out of the room. As soon as they walk in the room, or by the room, or are thinking about coming into the room where I’m at, they are talking to me again. The kiddos even talk to me on their way to and from the room I’ve kicked them out of.

So, that was another thing I noticed. This weekend I confirmed YET ANOTHER facet of this phenomenon.

Dad can be in the room with us, and nobody chatters at Dad. SERIOUSLY! I’ve heard that Dads are able to tune out kiddos in ways that moms just aren’t capable of, and maybe that’s why the kiddos don’t chatter at him (they secretly know he’s not really listening). They WILL talk to him, if they have something specific to say to him. And he’s a good Dad, and a good listener, and they often have great conversations. But the general chatter about this, that, and every single thing that pops into their mind is NEVER, EVER directed at Dad.

On Sunday afternoon Dad was playing on the Wii with our oldest son, BudBud. They would talk to each other a tiny bit while playing – usually BudBud instructing Dad on how to play the game. MrCutie was in the corner playing on the computer. I was sitting beside Dad on the couch, with my laptop, checking e-mails and tweeting, not talking to anybody, and trying to avoid watching the video game in progress because the flying airplanes always give me motion sickness. MrCutie started telling me about his game. I was getting a lot of  “Look at this, Mom,” and “Mom, did you see what I did?” and “Mom, this guy does this, and that guy does that,” and “Mom, I just did this cool thing….[and he expounded in great detail about the cool thing he did].”

I asked Dad if MrCutie had been talking to him before I sat down on the couch – Dad didn’t have a clue. He hadn’t heard MrCutie talking to him if he had been. So, I asked MrCutie, “Did you tell Dad about all the computer games you were playing before I got here?” and he was like, “Um, no. I didn’t talk to Dad at all, I don’t think.”

REALLY!? You didn’t go through an extensive play-by-play with Dad, who would be much more interested than Mom would be, about the triple twist with a seat grab you just did on the dirt bike game? You didn’t tell Dad about every detail on how you just climbed this wall and killed that guy and took that money on Final Ninja? NOPE! Didn’t say a word to Dad about the games, at all… WOW!

Dad sits on one side of the living room in our rocking chair (not like a Granny chair, but a super smooth glide rocker, LOVE that chair!) and I sit in my new office chair at the desk, both of us working on our laptops. A kiddo comes through the room, and it’s as if Dad doesn’t even exist. I have watched the last couple of days, to confirm this. Whatever runs out of their mouth runs directly at me. And if I’m NOT in the room, and only Dad is, none of that chatter happens at all!

staying sane - Microsoft Clipart Gallery

OK, now all of that is enough to drive any woman batty, but that’s NOT ALL!

The chatter is NOT limited to the kiddos. If I’m in the room, and Dad has anything that needs to be said, it’s said to me. I understand that – we do like to talk to each other, and adult conversation is nice. But he has also learned how to wait until I’m REALLY into something BEFORE chattering at me. For instance, there’s NO conversation happening, so I turn on some music as a nice background to my working. THAT is when he decides to talk to me. He learned it from the kiddos I’m sure, because they do that all the time, too.

I’ve decided to be as positive as possible about this chattering at me. I’ve told myself, “At least they are comfortable talking to me. Don’t discourage that!” I’ve muttered under my breath a quick reminder to myself, “There may be a day when you’re begging them to talk to you. Let them chatter now.” I’ve taken it as a compliment, “They know that I listen, no matter what the topic is!”

But there really are days when it feels a bit overwhelming to be chattered at the WHOLE time the kiddos are home from school and awake.

In the end, I may never REALLY know why they ONLY chatter at ME. I’ll take it as my lot as the mom in this house. *sigh*

By the way, is it JUST me that this “chatter at ONLY mom” happens to? (please tell me it isn’t just me……….)