I could easily swear in this post, out of pure “Oh my, this is STILL happening?” kind of disbelief, but I will refrain. SEE, I already practiced self-control in the title. I really wanted it to say “Birthday Card from a B****”. I’m not angry, and swearing won’t help, so bleeps will suffice.

A disclaimer also applies to this post –

I do not know if any of my family members read my blog, and if there are any of you, you will fall into one of 2 camps in regards to this post: 1) you will find me terribly disrespectful and won’t be able to believe I’m saying these things; or 2) you know and understand exactly what I’m talking about and you sympathize…. Either way, living in my story, at this point in my life being a usually sane and mostly competent and contributing adult member of society, this is how I see it, and I’m entitled to it. No disrespect intended. I’m just calling it as I see it, and not everyone likes it that way. It’s worth sharing, so I am sharing it. Thank you…

Now, on to the post.

On Thursday I got a birthday card from my Mom, the one who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s always interesting getting mail from her at all, which happens rarely, and usually never on a good day.

The postmark on the envelope indicates that the card was sent August 29th. My birthday is October 4th……. getting a little jump on it, I guess?

The inside of the card is laughable, and frustrating! The verse in the card says: “Celebrate today, and reflect on the triumphs, the friendships and the moments that make you smile.” Then it’s signed, “Love Mama (your birth mother), & Granny Jones, your sister & niece, nephews.”

If I’m celebrating and reflecting on friendships and moments that make me smile, they are very likely NOT going to include her. There are indeed many things to celebrate, and things to smile about, and special relationships that I cherish.  VERY few of them have anything to do with my mother.

The triumph related to her that does make me smile a bit, even as it breaks my heart, is that I have not allowed my mother to negatively influence my children at all with her NPD because we’ve not talked to her for about 7 years now…the triumph of cutting those abusive ties and not passing down the habits and hurts is one I can celebrate.

And the “birth mother” jab is likely in regards to my mother-in-law who I also call Mom and treats me more like a daughter than I have ever been treated by my own Mom. Of course my Mom can’t stand it… and takes these jabs whenever she can.  Yup, saying those kinds of things to me will most certainly build more affinity in me toward my Mom, for sure, uh-hunh, right…… not.

My Mom and her Mom, my Granny, live together, so both of them on the card makes sense.  Why she included my sister and her kids is beyond me – I guess she assumes my sister wouldn’t wish me happy birthday herself.  (My sis’ birthday is the day after mine! We usually AT LEAST text or Facebook if not call one another on our birthdays… and one way or another we always wish each other happy birthday.  It’s not like we can forget the other one… we have -oh, I’ve lost count- 7? cousins with birthdays on mine, too! And my sister’s is the next day…. gimme a break!)

I’m not surprised by any of these shenanigans. They are pretty normal when it comes to my Mom. And she’ll never ever believe that she’s the problem, or even part of the problem – it’s always everyone else’s fault: I’m the bad daughter who doesn’t love and respect my birth mother … my mother-in-law is terrible for loving me like her own … etc., etc., etc….

This birthday card is meant to get a rise out of me in some way. It wasn’t sent out of love as much as out of spite. But it doesn’t get my blood pressure up, it doesn’t make me angry as much as it makes me sad, and it certainly doesn’t make me want to re-establish contact with my Mom. It does, however, confirm once again what I have already known for so long: my Mom continues to be a narcissistic BLEEP.

Everything about this birthday card is wrong. But SO typical of narcissists, and of my Mom.

Passive aggressive much?

I’d just as soon not get birthday cards from my Mom, but how can she resist trying to get in her yearly jabs at me and my family? At least I can’t say that she never sends me anything or never tries to contact me.

A birthday card from a bleepitty-bleep-bleep – wow, just what I always wanted!