If I said I love music, I’d be lying. I don’t LOVE music.
I live music – it is the language of my very soul.
My heart aches without it, and my heart sometimes aches at the sound of it, too.
I NEED music. Silly, maybe, to someone who doesn’t. But true.
In the busy-ness of a 5 member family, life gets noisy. I forget to add music, and I find myself off-kilter a bit.
Then I plug in for some beautiful music. A good pair of headphones or a rocking sound system is pure paradise, so I can hear all the bits and parts, so I can absorb all the sounds within the music, so I can feel every bit of what’s being played.
Life FEELS more alive after that, more full.
“Music is what feelings sound like” if you could hear them.
I took a professional personality test and it showed my #1 area of interest to be musical (99 out of 100). The results essentially quantified what I already knew – music is my lifeline.
What the test administrator told me about this particular result, though, surprised me. He said at this high level on the scale (anything over about 75 out of 100), it’s no longer just an interest – it’s a NEED, an essential component of life. It should be included to a large degree in nearly every aspect of life, if I am to really engage and thrive.
That’s why when I forget my music, life gets weird. And why I’m happiest and the most myself when I turn up the tunes or sing out.
I miss singing with a choir, and I miss singing with mixed voices.
In high school, there was a group of us that lived and breathed choir – swing choir, mixed choir, musical theatre, etc. I miss the basses and baritones standing behind me on the risers filling my head and my heart with amazing sounds, balancing and complimenting us sopranos. I miss finding that perfect blend with other women’s voices, alto and soprano both. I miss heart-rending duets in fantastic high harmonies with those amazing tenors. I miss our impromptu 3 and 4 part harmony sessions at lunch, singing together just because we could and it sounded (and felt) so awesome.
At church I’ve been able to participate in choirs, mixed groups, and special music selections that were amazing. Worship music is pretty awesome, but it’s different.
I miss the performance of music – both participating in it and listening to it.
To paraphrase Eric Liddell, the famous Scottish Olympian memorialized in the movie “Chariots of Fire”:
I feel God’s pleasure when I sing.
Yes, indeed – I FEEL more alive, more myself, when music is involved, like it’s how I’m really MEANT to be, how God created me to be.
“Music [REALLY] is what feelings sound like.”
image sources: 1) unknown. 2) http://www.ohrestlessbird.com/
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