OK, MOMS! It’s time to ‘fess up.

I’ll be honest, and I’m looking for honesty in return.

I confess that I often feel like trying to keep my house clean, while anybody else is in it, is like shovelling the sidewalks while it’s still snowing. Useless, hopeless, hard work with nothing to show for it…

Does anybody else feel like that?

I also confess that I don’t like being the one who is ultimately responsible for it all. Somehow, if the house is messy, it MUST be MY fault. There are 5 of us in the house, and both Sweetie and I work from home.  Everyone in the house knows how to clean, vacuum, dust, wash dishes, wash and fold laundry and pick up after themselves, etc. It just doesn’t usually get done without my direct involvement. I have become somewhat resolved to the fact that it IS indeed Mom’s Job to be sure these details are attended to, but it still don’t like it.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

I confess that I have been battling the guilt of being a bad mom and wife for ages now. GOOD moms and GOOD wives have all these details in check, and take care of them joyfully, in humble servant-hood to their families. Good moms pick up every night before bed, make sure no one ever runs out of clean underwear, and wash all the dishes after every meal. Good wives make the home a haven for their husbands and families to retreat to and rest in. Good moms are training their children daily in the disciplines of good housekeeping, healthy meal preparation, and all the life skills needed to be independent and productive adults. Good wives can entertain anyone who rings the doorbell at any time and satisfy her husband’s deepest desires on command.

I’m not keeping up with hardly any of that on any kind of consistent basis. *sigh*

Are these feelings of guilt and inadequacy all that weird, and unique to only me?

I confess that at least 9 out of 10 days at my house, things are more ‘lived in’ than ‘clean’ around here. Kiddos’ backpacks are strewn across the entry-way (while the hooks above them provided for the convenience of hanging said backpacks UP remain empty). Dishes are in varying stages of being done – dishwasher is run and needs to be unloaded, dishwasher is loaded and needs to be run, dishwasher is empty and needs to be loaded, and usually the sink has a scattering of non-dishwasher-safe things in and around it. Laundry is in constant flux, with there nearly always being a load or two ready to be folded on or around the downstairs couch, and an ever-growing pile in the laundry room to be sorted (sitting right beside the empty 3-basket sorting station) and swapped from washing machine to dryer. Toys, books, pencils and Legos can be anywhere at any time, in spite my best efforts to keep things ‘picked up’ and have the kiddos routinely put away their things.

This only happens at my house, right?

I confess that I DO try to involve everyone at the house, and rarely feel very successful at it. I’ve printed chore charts, activity plans, and have even had family meetings to get everyone’s input on how to best keep up with all that needs to happen. It’s been made clear to the family that with a home-business, there are things that only I can do with the business, while there are some things that I usually do around the house which others CAN do so I don’t have to. The message isn’t sinking in, and I’ve been feeling like I’m sinking further and further behind on both fronts. I’ve worked hard to have us all pitch in together for a cleaning day, and once it’s done we could almost immediately start over again because somehow it seems to get undone as fast as we do it. I HAVE tried to make it a routine every-Whatever-day of the week, until life happens and we can’t do it on that day. It’s a never-ending battle. If I had nothing else to do, maybe my home would be spotless. But, quite honestly, there are always things to be done – business, ministry, relationships, quilting (which I haven’t done in a year), hanging out with the kiddos, etc….

Am I weird? Am I the only mom who feels like this? Am I the only mom with a usually messy house and a family I love very much but who are often not as cooperative as I would like?

My house feels comfortable, and is rarely dirty, but is quite lived in on certain days. It is what it is… and I’m really getting tired of always feeling like I’m failing at it all, when most of the time we’re ‘ok’ with things.  Are we that weird?

Maybe it’s just to ease my conscience, but I feel like I need a reality check one way or the other. Time for true confessions. Honestly, moms, how messy is your house on any given day?